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We became romantically involved, constantly making out and jerking each other off.
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It turns out bullying me was just his messed up way of trying to get my attention, because he turned into a completely different person after that. I guess that’s why I wasn’t thrown into a well of confusion about my sexuality after the kiss. While boys my age talked about girls incessantly, I could only ever see them in a platonic light. There were also other instances that made me know I was different. I didn’t know or understand why, but in hindsight, I clearly had a crush on him. In JSS 2, I was inexplicably drawn to one of my very popular classmates. I’d actually had my suspicions before then. Was that the moment you realised you were into guys? I had a ton of questions, but not necessarily about kissing a guy, it was more about why the person that had bullied me for years suddenly switched on me. For the rest of the night, my mind was whirling. We made out until we eventually had to leave the class. Even though I hadn’t had any sexual experience before that, kissing a boy immediately felt right. I recoiled, expecting him to hit me, but he didn’t. I tried to run out of the class, but he cornered me. I immediately began to panic because I was sure he was there to rough me up like he routinely did. So, there was an evening I went to lock up the class and as I was leaving, I saw him at the door waiting for me.
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We were in the same class, and even though I became voted class captain, that didn’t stop him from making my life a living hell. I was 13 in JSS 3, and there was this guy that had been bullying me since JSS 1. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 33-year-old gay man who didn’t have sex for years after getting kito-ed - a term for being set up and extorted by a straight man pretending to be gay.
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Sex Lifeis an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.